Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
