there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
