just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
