"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
