We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
