no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
