The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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