i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
one might say we're banned from that church
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
