Your tits are I can't wait for
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
