we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize