There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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