I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
