It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
