You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
