Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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