The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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