I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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