idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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