your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize