Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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