there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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