I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
