the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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