Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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