We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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