Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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