The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
