I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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