Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
