I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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