I am puke
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
