why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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