would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm at about main and main street
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
