Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
