a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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