Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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