Can Purell be used as lube?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
