Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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