i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize