mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
