Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
