I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it's like iHOP with fire
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
