Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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