If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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