I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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