It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
