but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
