That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
