i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
