Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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