we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ttyl tear gas
What drink are we having for lunch?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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