Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
