I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
