i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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