Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
