he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
