I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
