We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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