Sponge bath it is.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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