Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im having a threesome with these popsicles
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
