Kiss
Puke
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize
