I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want to make out with him forever
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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