BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
